LOVE ENERGY ATTRACTOR – practice letting go of negative noise
DO YOU FEEL :
- Lonesome
- Less than
- Alone
- Like you don’t fit in
- Unlikeable
- Not enough
These are all self destructive thoughts stemming from a misaligned core belief system. Our inner critic ca. Often reign supreme, when it is head honcho….it’s time to let go.
These outdated, neat or subconscious patterns need a reboot and fast.
It is much simpler than you realise and hypnotherapy is an effective technique to move you forwards.
Are you stuck in similar patterns of behaviors within all your relationships?
Do you attract a certain ‘type’
Do you feel unlistened to ?
Are you afraid to speak up or be vulnerable?
So, back to the “inner critic”.
First of all, it exists in all of us. And second, if left unmanaged it will remain negative, bombarding you with thoughts that tell you that you aren’t good enough and don’t deserve anything good. It’s like a little gremlin that, if you don’t get under control, will soon enough control you.
Before I give you a few tips on silencing that inner critic, I want you to know that there is no one in the world that “everyone likes”. It simply isn’t realistic.
No one likes everyone, so those expectations you have placed on yourself are just not cool. Second, you don’t “feel” no one likes you… you think it. There is a big difference between what you think and what you feel. Getting your thoughts straight really matters when it comes to mind management. When you understand that you are in control of your thoughts, you can then become in control of your feelings.
A thought that says “no one likes me” is a thought that is not only negative, but also clearly not true. It simply cannot be that there are four billion people on the planet and no one likes you. Get my drift? So, it would be a great idea if you could look at your thoughts more factually. Asking yourself questions that start to promote a more truthful and realistic thought process.
Again, I am going to say that you “think” it is hard to make friends – not because it is true, but because you think it is. If you think it is hard to make friends, it will be. If you think that you could try to just make one friend by the end of the month, it gets easier…
Now, I want to help you understand, and then politely tell this inner critic where to go.
First, it is important to get conscious.
Start to notice when your thought process shifts and your inner critic starts to talk.
Maybe you’re on a date and it starts with, “She doesn’t even like you.”
Or you may be in a meeting and when you finally speak up, you have a thought like, “You’re not making any sense.
Everyone is looking at you. You are an idiot.” As an exercise, write down those critical thoughts in a notepad, so you can start to get properly conscious of what you are saying to you.
Second, take a look at those nasty thoughts and ask yourself, ‘Would you speak to your best friend like that?’ The answer is almost certainly no.
Would you speak to your other half like that or your kids? Doubtful. You see, when you are conscious of what you are saying to yourself, it’s likely you will become more ready to change it. A recent quote by Amy Poehler: “Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. Sometimes it works.
Third, once you’ve identified the critical thoughts, it’s essential to challenge them. So if your inner critic tells you to stay isolated or not go out, you have to start thinking about why it would be great if you did go out. If it tells you to keep your mouth shut at a party, uncomfortable as it may seem at first, you have to find a way to think about doing the opposite and not indulge in the negative thinking. Challenging yourself is key.
Remember, the way to make the changes you want is to change the formula.
As you do this, you should remember to practice self-compassion and go gently with yourself.
The more you get your mind right the better you will feel and, in turn, the better actions you take. The voice will eventually fade into the background the more you challenge it.
It is likely that as you take this process, you will find yourself having thoughts like, “This just isn’t working for me. I know I’m not good enough.” I would remind you that challenging these negative thoughts is what will lead you to get what you want in life.
Thoughts are powerful and the beautiful thing about that is that thoughts are a choice. You can choose the negative thoughts or you can choose positive ones.
It is important to know that you can choose different thoughts and find ways to access your confidence, strength and calmness, all via your mind. Slowly but surely, your inner critic will be around less and less and your real self will become stronger, more confident and you’ll see that all along people wanted to hang out with you. You just hadn’t had your own back first…