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Amicable Exchange between Parents + Teens

parents and teens

Amicable exchange between the boundaries of parent and teenager


During the teenage years young adults go through huge changes both physically and emotionally. Depending on the stage of their brain development, teenagers are more inclined to act impulsively or get into confrontation and fights. It is normal that teenagers struggle to think before acting, consider the consequences of their actions and be aware of their behaviours. This can be a really tricky time for parents to navigate. As teens grow, existing boundaries will need to be reassessed. With more awareness of the outside world, teenagers will seek to push restrictions and explore new-found independence. 


Regardless of the changes experienced by teens, they are still capable of making good decisions, understanding the difference between right and wrong and should hold responsibility for their actions. Being aware of transition allows parents to better anticipate, and manage the behaviour of adolescents.


Power struggles


Power struggles are commonplace in parent-teenager relations. Whether it’s over being allowed to go to a party, staying out later or how much revision is necessary. In the teenage years young adults are developing the ability to think and decide for themselves. They are learning to question their parents’ rules and opinions towards them. Although challenging it is important for parents to listen and empathise with their teenagers. Working together to problem solve will make the dynamic more harmonious, over one or the other party being dictated to.


It is normal for teens to want to challenge authority, whether at home or at school. This defiance can come across as rebellious to parents, and they are likely to react by trying to regain control over their child. 


When this happens it’s important for the parent to understand that their teen isn’t necessarily meaning to cause conflict. But they are trying to express themselves, asserting their independence and exploring their new thinking possibilities and behaviours. 


Why does out attitude as parents matter?


As parents we have the responsibility to examine our attitude towards teenage development and how this could be affecting out relationships. Without doubt this is a time of turbulence, but do you view it as a negative difficult phase or is it a positive opportunity for growth and development? If you can bring your way of thinking around to the latter option, this could help you view your relationship at this time in a more positive light. Which is more conducive to better outcomes. 


If you can get your teen to even slightly try and think about how it might be being their parent in the present. They may get a glimmer of appreciation that this is a time of change for your parents right now too. If teens realise parents ultimately care and want the best for them – then you can both try and cooperate and lessen the need for battles. 


Solution focused techniques to foster harmonious exchange between parents and teenager 



            When you have both calmed down from a disagreement, think about   

            what you both want from the conversation. 




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